May 2002

Dearest Jane,
Thanks for your excellent fem-dom site. My question concerns an aspect of soft female domination I don’t see discussed often but would love to explore: the male sub paying oral homage to the dark passage of his lady’s ass. Like many sub males, I am terrifically aroused being “coerced’ to service my queen in this way, if only currently in fantasy.

If the woman is keen on her hygienic obligations, rimming is a real, safe example of female superiority and male submission and humiliation. I’m right, aren’t I, that it’s safe...?

Any thoughts for this ass-worshipper would be appreciated.

Dear Ass Worshipper,
You’re right that rimming (tongue-ass play) can be an exquisite—and safe—activity. It is not only erotically pleasurable for many women to have her ass licked and her dainty hole penetrated by a worthy subject’s warm, wet, and eager tongue, it also sets up the quintessentially delicious dynamic of dominant woman-submissive man.

But it’s not an activity without some risk. Any sort of mouth contact with the ass is at risk for hepatitis A (curable, but still...). Of course, you won’t catch something she doesn’t have, so choose your mistress wisely. Fecal matter is also crawling with intestinal parasites and bacteria. You could use a dental dam or plastic food wrap...but how sexy is using both hands to hold a plastic barrier in place? Talk about lessening a moment’unless you have a thing for Saran wrap.

The bottom line is being clean in the first place: Whether cleanliness is next to godliness may be debatable; it being next to analingus is absolute. So incorporate a worshipful bath or enema into your sex play. For maximum safety and great sensuality, do the following: Lovingly clean your lady, towel her off, and slide slightly large see-through panties up over her luscious behind . . . . then gently spread her pretty round cheeks and lap away, nasty boy, right through her sheer panties . . . if she deems you worthy.

Dear Jane,

I am a young professional man with an unusual fetish . . . I enjoy wearing skimpy swimsuits . . . not the standard and rather conventional Speedo competition swimsuits but very skimpy briefs and thongs that border on illegality. I have a collection of at least 50 brightly colored and patterned suits. I get a thrill out of displaying my assets on the beaches of Mexico and, occasionally, closer to home.

My thrill comes from wearing an article of clothing that is generally reserved for the female of the species . . and I delight in their expressions of amazement and amusement as I parade around in my “pool panties’ . . . Some women are disgusted by my display—and I enjoy their response—and other women are curious and attracted by the fact that I proudly put my manhood on display in a banana hammock. I generally keep my fetish from my guy friends; they would not approve.

Have you heard of others with a penchant for teeny weeny bikinis or am I the only one? I attach a recent picture. Would you like to meet for lunch in Cancun?

Bathing Beauty

Dear BB,

Do you manifest a certain amount of arousal while choosing which of your four dozen-plus eensy-weensy thongs to wear? Do you feel a distinct stirring of the loins while getting, um, dressed for the beach? Do you feel that the stimulation of strutting your stuff is, more often than not, mutual? Whether consensual or not, does your beach parade provide an ego boost, embarrassment, or defilement—in other words, does it turn you on? Is the answer to these questions an unequivocal yes? Oooh, do I have to ask?

I believe I counted six and a half polka dots on the photo of you in your yellow thong, Bathing Beauty. Few enough dots to qualify you as—yes, precious—an exhibitionist.

You are distinct from the exhibitionist in the raincoat-flashing mode—psychologically these men are filled with self-doubt about their sexuality and need to provoke a response from strangers (“she cringed, therefore I am’). Still, because you do derive erotic pleasure from the display of body parts that are normally considered taboo, you bear the label. You are not alone, although men in our society show off far less than women do—and it’s far less socially acceptable for men to do so. I can’t imagine receiving a letter from a woman wondering whether she was alone in her desire to wear a revealing bikini. Or her telling me that some men winced as she walked by in such attire.

Indeed, you were simply born in the wrong century . . . East Indian priests of the early 20th century walked naked through the streets ringing bells to call out to female devotees. The women would then come out to the street and pay reverence to the priest’s reproductive organ by embracing it.

Thanks for the photo. I must admit finding your beachwear—hardly more than a Dixie cup and a string—quite becoming on you. As for your invitation for lunch in Cancun . . . Actually, I do believe your penchant should be discussed further. You order the margaritas. I’ll bring some new thong panties. And I’m happy to share. We’ll get to the bottom of things yet.

Jane is the owner of X-traordinary Talk! and can be found on the Internet at www.xtratalk.com. Ask for Jane’s advice on any aspect of fetish sexuality by e-mailing her at jane@xtratalk.com. “Advice to Boys Who Need It Bad’ is a registered trademark of X-traordinary Talk! Please note that Jane’s advice is from the viewpoint of a caring, softly dominant woman; it is not intended to replace professional therapy. All questions are “real,’ although may be edited for length.

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