February 2003

Dear Jane,

Since I was old enough to walk, I have been attracted to beautiful women with gorgeous bare feet and painted toenails. To me, with their curves, arches, colors, textures, cleavages, and aromas, the feet of a beautiful woman are alluring, sensuous, and sexy. When a beautiful woman places her sweaty bare feet upon my face and pinches my nose between her warm sweaty toes so that I can smell her wonderful womanly foot aroma combined with the smell of leather and fresh nail polish, I become erect in seconds. Whenever I bury my face into my girlfriend’s hot, sexy, sweaty, pungent bare feet, I have a sudden urge to make love to her from head to toe.

Until recently, my current girlfriend has been wonderful in meeting my special needs of worshipping her feet. Lately, however, she’s become reluctant to do so. She claims that my special needs are “abnormal sex.” She has talked with her girlfriends and tells me that they all say my desires are weird and abnormal. She says that my wanting to smell her sweaty-smelly feet, orally make love to them, insert my penis between her lovely smooth golden arches and ejaculate is “unnatural.” My girlfriend also claims that “natural” sex only involves penile penetration of the vagina, something I do every time we engage in sex.

Who is right? She says that she will be more willing to meet my special needs depending on your answer. Jane, I really do not want to lose her! It is difficult to find a pretty woman who is willing to meet my special needs.

True Blue Foot Lover

Dear True Blue,

Ahhh, the life of a foot-lover . . . you’ve stolen your pleasures, haven’t you? In bus stations, airports, grocery stores, at the park, on the beach, and in the women’s shoe section of your local department store.

Pretty feet and all the body parts they imply . . . The curves, the crevices, the appendages, so strokable, suckable. You love that they’re attached to beautiful legs and ahhh, the journey to the promised land at the top of the legs . . . Yes, I understand, my sweet connoisseur.

You’re in good company. Historically, foot fetishism is thought to be the most widely practiced of all fetishes. And possibly the oldest. From the 10th century until the 1930’s, the Chinese practiced foot binding, resulting in a foot made for sex. Because walking was virtually impossible, the bottom of the tiny bowed foot stayed soft and supple, perfect for thrusting one’s penis into. Men also could put the entire two-by-four-inch foot into their mouths, biting, licking, and sucking it like a tasty little treat. (We won’t discuss here how those tasty little treats that could have been useful feet rendered women virtually crippled and completely dependent upon the men who kept them.)

A fetish both reigns in and stimulates desire. This is ever so true for foot lovers. With nerve endings of all the body’s organs terminating in the feet, it’s no wonder that foot massages are so erotically pleasurable (and why I always scout for foot lovers at parties). Because your lovemaking begins some distance from the genitals, it starts as a mind fuck . . . making your eventual plunge into her cushy vagina all the more exciting.

As far as your girlfriend goes . . . As you know, sex must be consensual; if she’s not into your thing then she’s not a good partner for you. But I have the feeling this is not the case with your girlfriend. I think that it’s you who (unwittingly) made her question your love of foot play. Frankly, your talk of having “special needs” is a turn-off. You remind me of those annoying people who, in a voice that forces attention of everyone around the dinner table on them, give waiters arcane, convoluted directives on how their particular dinner must be prepared, per their “special needs.”

Projecting such an attitude separates—and, worse, stigmatizes—your preference for feet from the rest of your sexuality. No wonder your girlfriend wonders about you and discusses your fetish with her girlfriends. Yes, you require pretty feet to get off; so what? Your “special need” is also simply your preference just as she may have a “special need” for missionary sex but doesn’t prattle on and on about it. In fact, do you even know her sexual preferences? Her core issue with you could be that she feels you are far too focused on your own desires.

All consensual sex—in all its wonderfully individualistic and inventive forms—is a joyful part of life that every one of us wants to share with someone special. Integrate your desires—and hers—into your sex life as naturally as one would, say, candles and champagne: romantically, without self-reproach—and without apology.

Pantyhose Envy
Dear Jane,

I’m a man who’s completely crazy about wearing pantyhose. I am completely shaved, too, for comfort under them. I have a girlfriend who insists that I wear a pair of her pantyhose every time I see her. I get kind of nervous about this, especially when she makes me put them on in front of her and parade around in them so she can see what I look like.

Should I get even with her and make her do the same thing as she does to me? Do you think that it’s o.k. for men to wear pantyhose and/or tights and to be shaved underneath them? Please tell me! I don’t feel so bad when I’m alone and doing this . . . I would really feel a lot more comfortable with your advice on this. Are you shaved and do you wear pantyhose?

Shaved in Pantyhose

Dear Shaved,

As to the o.k.ness of shaving yourself and wearing pantyhose: of course it’s o.k. You enjoy it. So do it. Do it alone and do it when your girlfriend asks you to do it. Do it whenever and wherever you can. Hurry. Life is short.

Sorry, sweetie, but turning the tables on you girlfriend will not be a “get even” tactic. To have her dress and parade around in pantyhose for you at your command won’t faze her. Why? Because, for women, that’s an everyday activity that has no sexual connotation attached to it. When you parade around in pantyhose at your girlfriend’s command, it’s a turn-on because it’s an unconventional practice and, hence, has that delicious aspect of naughtiness attached to it.

Do I wear pantyhose? I am more of a garter-belt-and-stockings sort of woman, but I do wear pantyhose on occasion. I prefer them, though, on a man like you who grows large, hard, sexy, and damp inside their sheer prison.

Dildo Diddling
Dear Jane,

I enjoy your writing in Leg Show very much. Overall, Leg Show addresses my needs as a submissive male with a panty fetish.

I gather from other letters you’ve answered that you think it’s o.k. for me to wear my mistress’s panties as she dominates me; I’m glad about this. Am I gay because I enjoy my mistress strapping on a dildo and fucking my ass?

She wants to make me suck her lover’s ten-inch cock while I wear her panties. Is it o.k. for me to accept her wishes to bring a real man in to be her lover while I watch?

I am 50 years old and I have sucked a cock before but only three or four times. I have never been fucked by a man before but I want to obey my mistress.

I hope you read this and tell me what you think. Thanks, Jane.

Love,
Troy

Dear Troy,

I am amused by the way you boys write to me dancing around the edges of your desires by proclaiming, “But she makes me!” I wish you would be honest and, if it’s so, admit that the bottom line—we’re talking about your bottom here, sweetie—is that you adore doing all that your mistress demands of you.

Mutually agreeable, lubricated anal intercourse involves a pleasurable, erotic feeling of fullness that is not limited to women and gay men. And because of the naturally submissive nature of the position, it’s erotic when taking on dominant-submissive roles. Also, it’s not uncommon for men or women to engage in self-stimulation of the anus—anal masturbation—using fingers, a vibrator, dildo, or other, more creative items. So, darling, your mistress pummels your nether region not only for your pleasure but for your own good.

No, you are not gay because you enjoy a good ass-fucking. Interesting that you ask whether I think you’re gay when you bring up your mistress’s penetration of your ass but not when discussing the possibility of sucking another man’s cock and possibly being penetrated by him.

People are not gay because they enjoy anal sex. People are gay, according to sexologist John Money, when they’re able to fall in love with and pair-bond with a partner of the same sex. From your letter, I gather that’s not you, so, obedient boy that you are, bend over and spread ’em for her.

But let’s visit that other-man issue, Troy . . . If she’s skilled and knows you very well, your mistress may know that you are ready to enter this realm. But are you? Before you consent, consider your sexual boundaries. Even if you are submissive to your mistress, do not allow her—or anyone—to transgress your limits. “Submissive” does not mean “doormat.” Play the submissive role with dignity and—back to the honesty issue—take care that you are, indeed, getting what you truly want.

Waiting for Hillary
Dear Jane,

I am a skinny, horny, submissive guy. I have the following fetishes: cross-dressing, panty-sniffing, leg worshipping, golden showers, and Leg Show lover. Also, I must confess my penis is only five inches long and one inch in diameter when hard. Licking a pussy to squirting climax is my favorite activity.

I was hoping that maybe, because you live in New York, you could introduce me to Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton. I would like to lick her while she paddles my ass and tells me what jerks men can be.

Enclosed are a few photos of me in female undies.

Love,
Rich

Dear Rich,

I actually live in San Francisco, not New York. Otherwise I’d be happy to introduce you to Senator Clinton. I’m quite certain that, after viewing these photos of you, she’d consider your proposition. Of course, the spanking would require a bigger campaign contribution.

Jane is the owner of X-traordinary Talk! and can be found on the Internet at www.xtratalk.com. Ask for Jane’s advice on any aspect of fetish sexuality by e-mailing her at jane@xtratalk.com. “Advice to Boys Who Need It Bad” is a registered trademark of X-traordinary Talk! Please note that Jane’s advice is from the viewpoint of a caring, softly dominant woman; it is not intended to replace professional therapy. All questions are “real,” although may be edited for length.

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