February 2004

Slipping Away for a Thrill
Dear Jane,

I am a businessman in my 50s; it started when I was 6 or 7. For my birthday I got a Western play ranch, and in the box was a silk scarf with a cowboy design. I really liked the feel of the silk around my neck and since it felt so good there I took it to bed and rubbed it all over my body. Obviously, it felt best wrapped around “Mr. Wiggly” and I found I could get a very intense feeling (orgasm, I realized later, but without cum). I enjoyed that scarf for years.

I’m not sure when I discovered my mother’s slips and gowns. To be covered in that nylon was ecstasy. By then, I’d reached puberty and had to be careful lest I leave evidence of my pleasure. But my nylon fetish had taken hold and if the world was closing in on me or I just needed an escape, I would find a slip . . . .

As a teen-ager I was a sex maniac. One of my girlfriend’s favorite outfits she’d wear to the drive-in (did they really show movies at those things?) was a black nylon half-slip and an acetate blouse. She’d tease me with that stuff for a long time before lifting her slip up. She catered to my love of slips as a way of controlling me. After we parted, she gave me a slip that I kept for years. A couple of girls had given me slips over the years, but did not know it was more than just a “keepsake.”

When I got married, I started buying my wife lingerie; Vanity Fair was my favorite brand. She enjoyed catering to my fetish, just because I enjoyed it, but later turned against it because she sensed I preferred nylon to her (not true). After that, I quit for several years. But now that I work in one city all week and go home only on the weekends, I’ve started again. At this point, the fetish is an off-limits topic with my wife. I guess she knows I take matters into my own hands while I’m away, but does not know about my slip collection.

For me, the turn-on is the pleasure of the nylon against my skin, although it has to be a slip that provides this—I’ve worn men’s nylon pajamas and they do nothing for me. Same with women’s nylon panties—they’re just underwear, and never appealed to me. The only reason I wear a slip is to be encased in it. I have never had any desire to “dress up.” My fantasies are of a woman helping me enjoy my slip fetish, almost dominating me—as you yourself put it, “loving dominance.”

Being a slip-lover, you can imagine the fantasies I had about Liz Taylor in Butterfield 8. It’s not easy finding erotic imagery of women in slips. Most Internet “nylon” sites cater only to hosiery but hose doesn’t offer the silky caress that a slip does.

Does all this make me a submissive? Isn’t it the nature of someone with a fetish to be submissive, at least with respect to the fetish? How many women like to cater to this versus how many don’t? Some women in my life have and some women I knew/know find it pathetic.

Slipping

Dear Slip-lover,

Slip fetishism is easy to fathom: a silky nylon slip is the embodiment of the beauty of femininity as well as reflective of it. A slip encases and clings to a woman’s soft body, absorbing her perfume and naturally sweet body odor. The choicest, for true connoisseurs, are from the ’60s and earlier when they were made of a quality of nylon that is difficult to find now: extra soft, ultra slinky, with exquisite detailing. A slip can be nearly as wonderful as the woman it’s intended for—and even, as can be said for all hard-core fetishists—equal to it.

Which is your wife’s concern. Fetishes exist on a continuum. For some, the fetish object is essential to arousal; it’s easy to see why, when this is the case, a woman would feel secondary. In fact, you say that early in marriage you bought her your favorite brand. Did you ever ask her which brands she preferred?

From what you’ve written, it appears your sexual wiring doesn’t require a slip in order to make love with your wife. So you might instead redirect your focus with her to your recent fascination with dominance and submission. Perhaps you two will be able to expand your sexual repertoire with the connection of minds that occurs during D/S sex play. Don’t assume you know everything there is to know about your wife’s sexuality. Focus on her and her desires; it’s easier to get what we want when we sincerely give of ourselves first.

You ask whether “all this” makes you sexually submissive. It’s not the fetish that makes someone submissive; many fetishists are sexually dominant. However, a woman who’s clever enough to pick up on her lover’s inherent “submission” to his fetish can effectively use this knowledge to tease him, providing pleasure to both. Your high school girlfriend clearly had this down pat.

You’re right that there are too few sites on the Internet for those who want to see women in slips. Many slip-lovers still satisfy themselves with the very thing that brought the joy home for them as a child: catalogues. On-line catalogues featuring slips are plentiful, although there’s nothing quite as nice as finding the Sears catalogue in the mail. To find more erotic depictions of women in slips, www.phatforums.com/vintage/index.shtml offers an amazing resource for the exchange of information on all sorts of vintage lingerie, slips included. For images that celebrate women’s beauty, curves, and grace with a nod to the glory of gorgeous vintage slips, pay a visit to www.soft-fetish.com. Use the links on this site to find others of note. And don’t miss the amateur site, www.rabeccassecret.com. Rabecca’s a cutie and will please with a tease.

As for how many women like playing with a man’s slip fetish . . .Well, doll, there are stats on nearly everything we do in life, but I have yet to see one for how many women love playing with slip fetishists versus how many don’t. You’ll need to do your own research, sweet nylon-lover, one slip-wearing woman at a time. And can that be so hard?

Fooling Around With Sleeping Beauty
Dear Jane,

Over the weekend, I had a party and a great time was had by all. As the evening wound down, I found myself wanting to get everyone out of the apartment so I could take a shower, lotion up, slip into some soft panties, and jack off. Instead, a 20-something girl I have known for about a year was too drunk to drive home. Being a good host, I told her to stay with me. She is very attractive, a dancer, with legs and ass to go to war over. When the last guest exited, she in one motion pulled the little dress she had on over her head. She had on thong panties. In the club I have seen her that naked, plus she is a good friend and we’re comfortable around each other.

I warmed her up some lasagna then put her in my bed. I cleaned up the kitchen, then got into bed with her. HORNY as hell. She was deep asleep and for a few minutes I struggled with what to do. Her perfume enveloped me and in no time I was hard as stone.

I began to masturbate, and then rolled over and placed my cock in the crack of her ass and just rubbed up against her. She felt so good. And then it dawned on me to slide down under the covers to catch a whiff of her cunt. I pulled her thong aside for just a moment and inhaled her scent. To my surprise, her pussy was moist and I gave it a quick lick of the tongue then repositioned myself along side of her and finished jacking off. I still feel a little guilty, but I don’t think I took it too far, do you?

Curious

Dear Clueless,

Bummer how a moral dilemma can kill an otherwise great time. Sorry, babe, but there’s no “little guilty” on this one. You’re fully guilty of violating your sleepover friend, period. How’d you feel if you knew your sister—or wife—had been objectified—fooled-around-with—while sleeping off a night of partying at a friend’s house?

If you doubt my words, use this test: Did you feel casual enough about what you did to tell her about it in the morning?

I rest my case.

Is it ever alright to sidle your erection up next to a sleeping woman? Playful couples in relationships do this—one will fool around with the other, rousing them out of sleep. But that’s different, because the joy is in having the person wake up and respond. You’re messing around with the dead weight of a woman who trusts you as a friend. In fact, your actions remind me of necrophilia, a most distasteful—and obviously non-consensual—fetish. Or is it a case of wanting “dangerous sex,” the thrill of possibly getting caught? Or could it just be that you let your dick do your thinking for you?

Unfortunately, there are extremes in this sort of behavior: Andrew Luster, heir to the Max Factor cosmetics fortune, has 87 charges of date rape against him; apparently he drugged his dates, then videotaped himself having sex with these unconscious women.

Even pre-Disney Sleeping Beauty was violated. In the late 17th century, the French fairy tale writer Charles Perrault wrote that Sleeping Beauty was not chastely awakened by a kiss, but rather impregnated by a passing prince during her hundred-year sleep.

One last thing, doll: I have to wonder if you may have felt that because this woman is a stripper she has less value than another woman. Would you have done the same thing if the sleeping beauty in your bed were, say, a school teacher?

Next time, Prince Charming . . . sleep on the sofa.

Flashing Through Europe
Dear Jane,

Olga and I have been married for 13 years. We have wonderful sex together and Olga has a fantasy that stimulates us both. We have discussed it many times and we both approve of it. Her fantasy is to flash her panties in public. Not as a panty perk for shoe salesmen or as she’s getting out of her car, but as in the Glimpse section of Leg Show.

My question is do you know of any European country where this is a frequent scene and very acceptable? We plan to go to Europe in March and would like to choose a country where she can exhibit herself—not as a pervert, but as a sexy woman who enjoys giving men a great free show.

At this point in time her fantasy does not go beyond a show of open legs and panty crotch—not even pussy hair or pussy lips—so it is really not lewd.

We know Europeans are not prudish, as Americans are. Several issues of Leg Show present such scenes in Paris. Is this by design or is this a place where this is acceptable and common?

Thanks for your full input in a reply. We enjoy your column and respect your thoughts.

Olga & Me, New York

Dear Playful Pair,

Europeans are not as prudish as we Americans, true, but flashing is flashing in any country and there will always be aficionados of the practice and those who just can’t get past what they think is the indecency of a woman showing her underwear to strangers. Especially while she’s wearing it.

The Glimpse section in Leg Show is photographed by Roy Stuart, who lives in relatively free-spirited Paris. But I don’t think this is where you should go. I think you and Olga ought to tootle through England.

Why, you ask . . . surely it’s the most up-tight, prudish nation on the European continent. Yes, and that’s just the point. Nothing fuels sexual fetishes like repression. The greater the repression, the greater the turn-on. All the while they’re looking aghast at your wife—choking on their fish-n-chips and spluttering on their beer—those tight-cheeked Brits are likely to be secretly relishing Olga’s joyful flamboyance.

Here’s to a titillating holiday . . . cheerio!

Jane is the owner of X-traordinary Talk! and can be found on the Internet at www.xtratalk.com. Ask for Jane’s advice on any aspect of fetish sexuality by e-mailing her at jane@xtratalk.com. “Advice to Boys Who Need It Bad” is a registered trademark of X-traordinary Talk! Please note that Jane’s advice is from the viewpoint of a caring, softly dominant woman; it is not intended to replace professional therapy. All questions are “real,” although may be edited for length.

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