May 2004

Fifteen Seconds of Glory
Dear Jane,

First off, I’d like to say that you’re a very beautiful older woman. You’re so smart! I live for your articles every month.

Problem: I’m a 20-year-old male. I discovered my very first orgasm four years ago. WOW. Once I found out that my penis could give off an incredible reaction like that I was hooked instantly.

I masturbate sometimes three and four times a day. Jane, I LOVE that feeling more than anything in the whole entire world! Fifteen seconds of glory. (Whewie.) I can feel those “tingly ’lil fuzzies” all the way from the tip of my penis clear down to the tips of my toes, with these enormous muscle contractions that crawl deep into my butt. (Wink wink.). My climax is as strong and sharp as a pin-prick. Makes my legs kick like a hundred miles an hour. The cum just squirts out of my balls in big, thick spurts. What a beautiful mess!

Both my girlfriend and I are very sexually active together, but she says I masturbate myself way, way, way too much. She insists it’s not normal for a person to do it this many times a day and that I should seriously consider talking to a doctor and get some help over my addiction to orgasm. She says there’s medication they can prescribe that helps reduce these cravings. Is this true?

Finally, the question of the century, Jane: how come it only lasts 15 seconds?

Hank

Sweet Hank the Wank-er,

When you’re fifty years old and picking up your Viagra prescription at the pharmacy you’ll rue the day you ever considered taking a drug to decrease your sex drive.

Medications exist that will decrease your desire but why would you want to? Some drugs that treat depression (most famously, Prozac) as well as various heart and diabetes drugs have the unfortunate side effect of decreasing libido. No one takes them in order to voluntarily suppress desire.

You are not likely addicted to the sublime “whewie-wink-wink” sensations of orgasm (I can tell by the photos you sent of you ejaculating that whewie-wink-wink hardly begins to describe your ecstasy). Whacking off a lot is a problem only if you’re suffering harmful consequences from doing it (not including bearing the wrath of a judgmental girlfriend) or not showing up for the rest of your life because your hand is in the cookie jar (i.e., your pants) all day.

According to Masters and Johnson, ninety-nine percent of men masturbate, and over fifty percent of them do it daily. And, at 20 . . . well, you’re in hormonal heaven, doll. You can become erect in less than ten seconds. And you’re more than capable of handling the 86 million sperm your testes make each day.

It’s said that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation. The next time you feel the urge for a surge, remember that it’s your biological imperative to fulfill your legacy as a (horny) homo sapiens.

Why does your glorious orgasm last only 15 seconds? Because, young grasshopper, life can be cruel. Indeed, you may some day need to make the cruel choice of deciding which is more important to you: your misguided, finger-wagging girlfriend—or your dick.

Love is Blonde
Ms. Jane,

I’m seeing a woman who is 15 years older than I am. Actually, she’s just four years younger than my mom. She is so sexy. Her blonde hair is shoulder-length; she looks sexy-sexy-wild. In bed she’s a man’s dream: a hot fucking bitch who rides my prick, driving it deep into her pussy, then pulling out and back in, pounding like she wants to bust my nuts. Her huge breasts bang together . . . driving my pleasure out of sight.

I want her to meet my family—my mom and sister—but am reluctant because of how she dresses. She shows too much thigh and cleavage—so that with an ounce of “luck” you see “so much” that all curiosities are satisfied. This is her style and she will not change it. For me, I L-O-V-E it. And I love to let men see—let them see it all—let them eat their hearts out. Her performance in bed is out of sight and she shares all her charms with me. After sex with her I am like a person who ate a very large meal and needs not look at, smell, or eat any food. My balls are milked dry.

What do I do? I want my mom and sister to like her. But when they see how she displays herself they’ll be against her becoming part of the family. To tell my mom and sister that her dress does not make her a slut will not fly. In your opinion, what should I do? Dressing like this doesn’t mean she won’t be unfaithful to me, right?

Happy Charlie

Look, Charlie, your mom and sister aren’t dating this woman, you are. It would be great if she would be willing to dress like the church lady when she visits them, but what’s the fun in that; families, after all, are all about judgment and criticism. Anyway, there are no assurances they’d like her even if she shows up in a nun’s habit.

If you like the way she dresses and she likes the way she dresses, then there’s no problem, unless you really want there to be. The problem is your mom’s and sister’s—if there even is one. They might be so happy to see you smitten that they’ll suspend judgment of her skimpy clothing. Within five seconds of meeting her they’re going to understand the charms that drive you to your beloved’s bed. So what?

It might assuage your fear if you introduce her to other members of the family first—those who you think would be more accepting. You know—the male relatives. Once you’ve done that, tell mom and sis in advance you have a new girlfriend you’re crazy about who dresses provocatively. Don’t apologize for it; just mention it.

And, no, there’s no correlation between her manner of dress and her faithfulness to you, sweet baby. But you’re confident of this, aren’t you? Of course you are, doll.

For the meeting with your family, buy your sexy girlfriend a tight, low-cut dress. Show her off proudly. Ultimately, it’s not the clothes that define the woman but the woman who defines herself. What you’ve got, Charlie, is one of those women who, when they’re good are very good, but when they’re bad are even better. Congratulations.

Feet Wanted
Dear Jane,

Please read this and don’t throw it away! Please.

Hi. My name is James. I am 30 years old, blond hair, green eyes, built upper body. I own my own landscaping business in New York’s Westchester County. Yes, I have lots of money. So let me tell you my problem.

For years I’ve been looking for a place to find some women to pay to let me suck and lick their sexy feet—yum yum. Yes, I have a very, very, very, very bad foot fetish; I’ve had it for as long as I can remember.

I’ve had a lot of girlfriends in the past but every time I would try to play with their feet they would say that I am nasty and sick in the head to want to do that. So I’ve lost a lot of pretty girls in my days over my fetish.

Do you think you can help me find a place where I can live out my fetish problem? Somewhere to meet girls who like guys who worship their feet? Maybe some kind of fetish night club where I could pay for feet. I don’t care what it will cost me, because I’ll pay any amount for my fantasy.

I am not sick or weird or anything; I just have a very strong need to suck on and lick girls’ sexy feet. If you could help me, you would make all my dreams come true. Please, please help me; I need feet badly or I’ll just be sad the rest of my lonely life. Please write back with info. I’ll do anything for you.

James

My Darling,

You’re saying that you’d like to get your hands (and, perchance, other parts of your anatomy) on some feet and you’re willing to spend serious money so you can get some good ones.

Hmmm. . .

Often, James, the problem with satisfying a fetish is that you have to embrace a whole woman in order to get the part you want. Which seems to be the core of your dilemma: you want to start lapping some gorgeous feet to the exclusion of knowing any other dimensions of a woman. You’ve “lost a lot of pretty girls” not because of your fetish but because you relate to women as feet that unfortunately happen to have a woman growing out of their ankles.

It may be news to you, precious, but women aren’t made up of parts the way that, say, the trucks you use in your landscaping business are. Women think and move and have opinions and make judgments. We behave—and misbehave. We accept—and we reject. I’m afraid we’re terribly complicated beings, from the top of our heads to—yep—the tips of our pretty little toes.

And you. You, too, are multi-dimensional, I do hope (and quite gorgeous, per your photo). Yet in your letter you indicate offering nothing beyond money. What about your keen wit, fabulous conversational skills, ability to nurture children and small animals . . . ? Money can always get you a pair of feet, darling; call an escort service for that. It can’t buy you a life. Which is what I suspect you’re actually wanting.

Don’t put your foot in your mouth by mentioning hers until you’ve got a relationship of give and take separate and apart from your fetish. When you start relating to women as people—and bonding with them as friends (or at least as human beings) as well as lovers—you’ll have far more success in the foot-sucking department.

Jane Vargas holds a Ph.D. in Human Sexuality and is the owner of X-traordinary Talk! She can be found on the Internet at www.tease.us. Ask for Jane’s advice on any aspect of fetish sexuality by e-mailing her at jane@xtratalk.com. “Advice to Boys Who Need It Bad” is a registered trademark of X-traordinary Talk! Please note that Jane’s advice is from the viewpoint of a caring, softly dominant woman; it is not intended to replace professional therapy. All questions are “real,” although may be edited for length.

Audio Fantasies | Videos | Short Video Squirts | Books | Dear Jane | About X-tratalk! | Links | Sylvia's Page | Meet Our Models | What's New? | X-tratalk Forums!
Anal Play | Bondage | Cross-dressing | Foot, Leg & Shoe | Masturbation Lessons | Getting Caught | Panties | Pantyhose | Spanking | Upskirt | Cocktease | Strict Punishment | Role Play

©2008 X-traordinary Talk!
site designed by The Carolingian Empire