June 2004

Panty-less in Seattle
Dear Jane,

I’ve noticed that many letters to you are from men who want their wives to be exhibitionists—and women who are happy to satisfy this favor. My wife started out wearing very tight jeans and dresses so that the panty lines were seen. Men looked at her ass like it was the gate to utopia. Soon she got used to having men look—drool—at her ass so she went braless, allowing her large breasts and firm nipples to be visible. When she bent over her breasts did everything but fall out of her top. Wowie. Where does it stop? OK—Now she wears short skirts and dresses with no panties. In and out of the car—sitting in public gives views that cause eyes to fall out of heads.

You’ve written that if the husband wants his wife to offer this free show—and the wife says OK—then it’s OK. But let me ask you, is this all OK by YOUR standards? Is a free view of her slit OK? Or has it gone too far? Do you really mean that if both parties are happy giving the show then it’s OK? I’m not sure what I mean by OK . . . I think I mean is it right, since neither one of us objects. We both realize that when men see her slit they probably review it and jerk off later, wishing for her. I mean, it’s pretty erotic—they’re not seeing a photo of a slit, they’re seeing hers.

If you and your husband agreed to this, would you show your slit to the world?

Thanks for answering, Jane, and thanks for the help you give freely to Leg Show’s readership.

Tim & Ann in Seattle

Dear T&A,

Those “many letters” you refer to is actually just one . . . but your belief that it’s been many tells me you’re grappling mightily with the issue of “should she” or “shouldn’t she.”

You ask, “Where does it stop?” It appears that your wife’s exhibitionism was all right with you when it began but that it crossed a barrier for you somewhere between The Panty Line Show and Slitsville.

As with anything we do sexually, an activity that for one couple is playful can be trouble for another. Both of you, examine your motivations and feelings. Is she flashing to flirt with other men? Are you feeling left out? Are you uncomfortable with how much she enjoys giving her shows? Is it really a shared turn-on—or does she need to flash because she’s insecure and requires increasing amounts of validation from other men? Are you jealous because she’s throwing how sexy she is in your face? In other words, it’s not what you do but the reasons you do it that defines its value and pleasure in any given relationship.

As far as “OKness” goes, Timmy . . . The first rule of OKness is, never mind what “society” says . . . it’s never going to agree that it’s OK for a woman to bare her twat in public. Be sure that what you two decide is consensual and for goodness’ sake stay away from kids’ playgrounds. I have the feeling you want permission from me to tell your wife she’s crossed a boundary. Sorry, babe, I can’t do that. The issue of OKness is terribly personal, sweetie, and it’s not up to me to decide what’s OK for you.

No, this is not a particular fantasy of mine; I find subtlety more powerful. Believe me, if it were a turn-on, I’d leave my panties at home. Life is short.

Please, Have a Seat
Dear Jane,

I’m a 22-year-old virgin who can think of nothing else but women’s behinds parked on my face. I’m obsessed with it. I would rather have this than anything else in the world. Every time I see a woman sit down in a chair, I wish it were my face she were sitting on. Panty-hosed, pantied, bare-assed—it doesn’t matter, I want it.

A lot of women find this matter gross or repulsive, but this is all I can think about. Jane, I know you are married, but I have already jerked off a few times and have thought about you sitting on my face full force, suffocating me under your ass. In my fantasy, after holding up your skirt, you just park your lovely seamless pantyhosed posterior on my face, full force. I’ve been under for about five minutes with no air. Are you going to let me up to breathe or not? (I don’t want to offend—remember, this is just a fantasy.)

Do you sit on guys’ faces at all? If you would, how would you make it for him—friendly face-sitting or unfriendly submissive face-sitting? Please let me know how you feel on the face-sitting issue. Advise me, Jane. Is this an acceptable fantasy? Why do I like it so much?

I would like to see you sitting on this little cushion I’ve sent you. Would you just put this little padded cushion under your lovely ass, squashing it, in the next issue of Leg Show? Let me see you sitting on my little cushion full force under your weight. I’ll imagine it’s my face you’re sitting on.

Remember, the cushion I sent you—that I hope you’re sitting on right now—is my face.

Rod

Dear Comfy Cushion Boy,

Oooooh, baby, I’m having a difficult time gathering my thoughts. All I can think of, as I sit here upon the darling little symbolic cushion you sent me, is your face and nasty tongue beneath my warm, soft ass. Pardon me, darling, while I wriggle through my response . . . .

My sweet virgin, at 22, all you’re supposed to be thinking about is sex. It’s natural. It’s common. It’s what’s for dinner, bad boy.

Is face-sitting an “acceptable” fantasy? What do you think, silly, that this is the one fantasy of all I’ve read about in the hundreds of letters I’ve received over the years that’s truly demented?

The only time a fantasy is harmful, sweetheart, is when it’s inhibiting your ability to live life. Are you home whacking off to your fantasy when you’re supposed to be calling your mom—that sort of thing. If not, please, be my guest . . . . also, be clear that your fantasy is not an excuse to avoid relationships.

Yours is a fantasy that lives in the family of domination and bondage; it indicates that your sexual tastes might run to the submissive side of the spectrum. One reason you find it so compelling is because you, like all hetero men, really, really love the sight, feel, and scent of a woman’s genitalia and sweet juices.

Another reason this fantasy has got you by the balls is because you’ve never acted it out. You really need to get past this curiosity. Hire a pro dom if you need to; the reality of the fantasy may not be quite as compelling as the fantasy itself. In any case, having had the experience may help you to consider getting to know a woman outside of her willingness to use your face as a chair.

How do I feel on the face-sitting issue? I wouldn’t run for office on a face-sitting platform, perhaps, but I do believe in every adult’s right to be sat upon or to sit upon, as long as both parties agree.

Now, if you’ll please excuse me, I need to consider whether I’m going to let my little cushion up for air or not . . .

Spittle’s For Lovers
Goddess Jane,

When I came across your web site, I realized that I would love to spend time with your beautiful self. Past girlfriends were never able to stimulate me or understand my needs and desires. Don’t be confused with what I just said—I’m not looking for you to be my girlfriend, just my owner.

I am 30 years of age and a college graduate. I’m six feet, 193 pounds, with short, thick, dark brown hair, hazel eyes, and I am physically fit. I am well groomed and have impeccable hygiene. I am not trying to make myself out to be the perfect man, however, I do know of many women who are interested in me and extremely attracted to me.

Could I have some advice, please, dear Jane? Advise me on what I could offer a Goddess such as you to cater to my needs. I am well off financially.

In our time together, if you are gracious enough to do so, would you spit all over my face? Especially in my mouth and on my nose so I could taste and smell you. I would love it even more if you did this after just waking up in the morning, so I can have you natural. I love that “just woken up” smell. There is nothing more erotic than having a beautiful woman do this! I would love for you to drop a mouthful of your hot, smelly spit into my mouth, while you speak down to me. I would pay you a great deal of money for this service.

Write to me, goddess. Tell me why the very idea of your splittle makes me crazy. Then, please advise me on what I could offer that would make you take me in ownership.

Your Hopeful Slave Anthony

Darling,

I’m glad you’re not looking for a girlfriend, precious, as I’m a married woman. Even ownership is out of the question; my dog would be jealous. And as far as spitting on your face, precious . . . You can’t buy my spit; it’s not for sale. I only spit on those I love.

Your spittle fantasy is about wanting to be submissive and erotically humiliated—worthy fantasies in my book of love—but you present nothing more than a “me-me-me” paradox. You ask what would it take to get a woman to do this for you, but all you offer is money. Even as far as money goes, you may have to pay a lot, as pro doms charge a premium for any activity involving bodily fluids.

Be aware that anytime a couple exchanges bodily fluids there’s a chance of infection or disease, so take care. I checked on the Internet for all the icky things one can get through someone’s saliva. It looks as though AIDS and hepatitis are highly unlikely to be communicable through saliva, but you can get the mumps, measles, SARS, chicken pox, colds, and some forms of meningitis through spit . . . and the germs for these can enter your body not just through your mouth but also nose and eyes. Germs multiply rapidly in warm, moist places.

I’m actually a bit surprised you haven’t found a girlfriend willing to do this. It’s not much more than French kissing, is it . . . rather like French kissing on steroids. Like anything else, foreplay opens up a lot of options but, please, my darling spit junkie, forget trying to leapfrog directly to a request for spitting or you might find her doing so on the door she has just slammed in your face.

Jane Vargas holds a Ph.D. in Human Sexuality and is the owner of X-traordinary Talk! She can be found on the Internet at www.tease.us. Ask for Jane’s advice on any aspect of fetish sexuality by e-mailing her at jane@xtratalk.com. “Advice to Boys Who Need It Bad” is a registered trademark of X-traordinary Talk! Please note that Jane’s advice is from the viewpoint of a caring, softly dominant woman; it is not intended to replace professional therapy. All questions are “real,” although may be edited for length.

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