February 2005

Like a Doggie, He Leaves His Mark
Dear Jane,

First of all, thanks for your column in Leg Show. It’s so great that I read your pages first of all.

Now to my question. I work at a small office where there are three women. They’re 45-50 years old and they always wear pantyhose or knee stockings. I’m a total leg and foot addict and cannot get enough of ladies’ nylon-clad legs and feet. So I’m horny seeing these women around me.

They leave their work shoes under their desks when they go home. Sometimes I work overtime after everyone else has gone home. When I do, I sneak into the girls’ office and take a big sniff in their shoes. Doing that makes me so horny that my penis starts to leak precum. Often I pull my zipper down and take it out and stick it in their shoes and smear out some precum in the front of the smelly shoes where the toes go.

The next day, when the girls come in, they put their shoes on and walk around in the office with their pantyhosed feet inside the shoes I stained with my precum. I’m in heaven. It’s a joyride for me to see their feet, knowing that they have my precum on their toes.

What do you think of this, Jane? I’m a pervert, right?

Michael in Sweden

Hi, Michael. It’s not wrong to smell women’s shoes. Or to get hard while doing it. Or to drip pre-cum because of it.

But you’re naughty to trespass. Your secret thrill is a violation of someone else’s property. So you need to stop doing it. How would you feel if you found out that the shoes you put on for work had a sneaky, horny woman’s secretions in them?

. . . . Oh, never mind.

Just stop doing it. Get some well-worn leather high-heeled shoes from whatever equivalent you have to our Goodwill used-clothing stores. Keep the shoes in a special box under your bed. Say good-bye to “overtime”; race home and unleash your pent-up passions. Sniff the shoes, ooze precum into them, and smear it all around. Or jerk off into it. Or hang it off your hard cock all night. It won’t matter what you do because they will be your shoes that you’re having sex with. And there’s nothing wrong—or perverted⏼about enjoying yourself any way you like in the privacy of your own home.

No, you won’t have the secret pleasure and voyeuristic dominance of watching women you work with unknowingly walk around all day in cum-stained shoes. But, like every puppy that must learn not to defile shoes, you too can learn to be a good doggie.

Could Panty Sniffing Be the Death of Him?
Dearest Jane,

I’m one of those very bad boys who just loves to smell the smelly pussy-scented nylon and silk used panties and pantyhose off all the pretty ladies who sell them. I cannot get enough of clean pussy in the crotch of soiled nylon panties. The aroma drives me wild.

I’d just like to ask whether a person can get any diseases from smelling the crusty crotches of ladies’ dirty panties. I was always told that bacteria live in damp crotches but cannot live on clothes. Is this true? I obviously don’t want to get AIDS.

I’ve been a panty sniffer for 45 years and just love it and cannot do without smelling ladies’ pussy in worn panties. Please do let me know about the safety of this. I am very sincere in this question and would appreciate knowing the answer from you.

Pantyman, Minnesota

Dear Pantyman,

Sniff women’s panties, sweetheart, please. Treasure the aphrodisiac of the female scent. Keep on doing it another 45 years. There’s yet to be reported a death by panties.

What’s not safe is bacteria from feces (“skid marks”) and blood (“period-panties”). Yahoo! closed its worn-panty auction sites supposedly because people were sending these bacteria-laden panties. I suspect the current conservative social mores dictated this decision as much as did the people at Yahoo! caring about our safety and health.

It’s not just the U.S. that’s cracking down on panty habits. Earlier this year, the Tokyo Metropolitan Government outlawed the trade in soiled panties from girls under 18. The bloomer ban hasn’t stopped young women from selling their panties, though. In fact, like other pleasures we’re officially denied, panties have gone underground.

The schoolgirls used to sell to “buruseras” —panty sellers. Now, schoolgirls use mobile phones to conduct direct sales to customers without needing a middleman. They arrange to meet their customers in a dark spot like a karaoke bar where they remove and hand over their panties on the spot in exchange for payment (about five times what they used to get from selling to a middleman).

Also new since the ban is the business of selling photos of women in schoolgirl uniforms, absolutely legal. As an incentive to buy, free giveaways are offered—yep, the freebie is dirty panties.

Finally, some women in Tokyo aren’t selling their panties at all, but rather just a whiff of them. Women meet men in karaoke bars and charge about 10,000 yen (about $100) to stick his head up their skirt and sniff between their legs to his heart’s content.

By the way, Pantyman, don’t believe the urban legend that it’s illegal to mail underwear through the U.S. Postal Service. It’s illegal to mail alcoholic beverages, illegal drugs, firearms, and things that could explode. But there are no restrictions on mailing clothes, clean or not.

Curious “Male Lesbian” Wants the Facts
Dear Jane,

I have a question for you that I believe only you can answer.

I love dressing up in bras, panties, pantyhose, etc. I have heard many titles for men who enjoy this hobby. I have heard “transvestite,” “transsexual,” “transgender,” “cross-dresser,” “pantyboy,” “drag queen,” and the latest, “metrosexual.” Are they all the same?

Personally, I like to call myself a “male lesbian.” I like to have sex with a woman while I am dressed as a woman myself from head to toe.

Please let me know, please. You would be doing a great service.

Richard in Missouri

Darling,

Labels connote negative associations for too many people who really don’t know anything about who they’re labeling and tend to make rude assumptions about what a person bearing that label is all about. For example, I passed your question to a friend of mine in London. He/she calls himself a tranny and says he hates the term “transvestite” because people generally believe that TVs are “freaks.” When he becomes his alter ego “Lucy,” he said he’d prefer to “just be Lucy” to the world. Alas, the world isn’t so open-minded as to view people as individuals. Because we’ll never escape labels, your question is a good one since the terms whose definitions you seek confuse many.

All of the terms—transvestite, transsexual, cross-dresser, panty boy, drag queen, and metrosexual—fall under the “transgender” umbrella because they all play with gender boundaries. Within the category of transgender lie differences.

A drag queen is a man who is more like a woman than a woman is, often a performer caricaturizing a famous singer or actress such as Madonna, Marilyn Monroe, or Cher. RuPaul has said that he doesn’t “impersonate females” because “how many women do you know who wear seven-inch heels, four-foot wigs, and skintight dresses?” For most drag queens, drag is a hobby, profession, or art form rather than a sexual orientation or gender identity, although there are exceptions. Drag is an aesthetic, not a satirical portrayal of women, although some feminists complain that drag promotes harmful stereotypes of women.

That brings us to transvestites, who do emulate women. While drag queens want to be noticed, most TVs dress to “pass” —to blend in and not be noticed. Coined in the 1910s by the German sexologist Magnus Hirschfeld, the “trans” means across or over and “vestere” means to dress or to wear. Hirschfeld (who was gay and a TV) believed all transvestites were homosexual but the truth is that all transgendered folk are no different in their frequency of being gay, straight, or bi than the more conventional but less interesting population. From research I’ve conducted and friends I have, the turn-on for most TVs is the transformation itself, as opposed to specific articles of clothing.

It’s cross-dressers who usually love particular items of women’s clothing. Both TVs and cross-dressers wear women’s clothing, but TVs dress entirely—wig, makeup, breast forms, waist-cincher, etc.—while cross-dressers often dress only in the clothes they have a fetish for (i.e., the “panty boy,” who seeks and worships women’s panties only). I’ve known cross-dressers who dress only from the waist down in women’s clothes. As well as ones who dress completely as women but leave their beard and mustache, clearly not focusing on “passing.”

In my research, I’ve come to view TVs as men who dress to pass and then go out socially to see if they do. Cross-dressers, on the other hand, are men who enjoy women’s clothing—particularly lingerie—but don’t venture out of their homes or hotel rooms where they play privately with their treasures. Or, if they have a partner, incorporate the girly item into their sex play. I like your term “male lesbian” to describe your sexy fun.

Transsexuals are men and women who feel they’ve been born “in the wrong body” and seek to change their sex. However, the term is used not just as a label for those who have surgically changed their sex but also those who express desire to be of the opposite sex, even if he or she doesn’t opt for hormonal or surgical treatment. When describing their sexual orientation, transsexuals usually refer to themselves as their desired sex; that is, a man who wishes he were a woman and is attracted to men, will describe himself as heterosexual.

The latest label, coined by writer Mark Simpson in ’94—metrosexual—is a man who, bless his heart, understands why a woman needs twenty pairs of black shoes. He uses three products to style his hair, which he got cut not at the barber but at a salon (where he also has his weekly pedicure). He moisturizes, applies a little foundation to even out his skin tone, has different sunglasses to match his outfits, loves to shop, and wears an apron when whipping up a mean meatless lasagna.

In Wyoming he’d be called a sissy. But in urban areas, a metrosexual is “sensitive.” You see him in the fashion spreads in GQ and Esquire magazines and you’ve seen men converted into metrosexuals on “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.”

Despite the fact that gay men have a similar aesthetic, the metrosexual is not gay. He pushes traditional gender boundaries that define what’s male and what’s female, but is a “real man,” secure in his sexuality. He is breaking free of traditional male roles and he doesn’t care if he’s thought of as effeminate. Like a girl, he just wants to have fun.

He Wants to Shoot Like a Fire Hose
Dear Jane,

Is there any way to increase my ejaculate naturally without taking pills? I’ve sent for some pills just to see what happens. But is there any food or drink or herbs that would give me a bigger load? Do we lose something as we get older? I’m 52 and it seems I was getting more ten years ago.

Terry in Ohio

Dear Terry,

I have to admit, love, that I rolled my eyes when I first saw your question. It seemed to belong alongside the file in which I keep letters from hand wringers concerned about their penis size . . . another worthless thing for a guy to feel insecure about, I thought.

But I’ve researched your question on the Web as well as dinner parties (where, you might imagine, I am quite popular for the topics I bring up). I’ve come to see the “load” question differently.

The sensation of orgasm is a relief of tension beginning just before ejaculation (that is, when semen starts to squirt out) and ends with the final spurt. The typical ejaculate nets between about one teaspoon to one tablespoon and takes between three and ten seconds to shoot. All orgasms are intense—that’s not the issue here. You want to increase the time you experience the intensity. Mmm, sounds like a worthy goal to me . . .

It makes sense that if there’s not much semen, orgasm will be short, and, hence, sensation will be short. When it comes to orgasms, longer sensation trumps shorter sensation: more semen, longer cum, longer sensation. To obtain longer sensation, you need more fluid. So let’s see what we can do to juice you up, Terry.

First, the bad news: you’re right about age. According to Human Reproduction (2003), a man between 20 and 30 ejaculates an average of 4.0 ml of fluid; between 35 and 50, it drops to 3.5 ml; from 60 to 70, a man can expect about 2 ml. Over 70? Well, just 1 ml comes when he cums.

Pills are heavily promoted. But then so was snake oil a hundred years ago. The herbs in pills like EjacuMax claim to increase volume “up to 500%”; the amino acids (L-Arginine and L-Lysine) in products such as MacaEnhancer Volume Pills supposedly “up” a load by 225%. I’ve heard that vitamin E taken in three to five times the recommended doses will do the same. Ditto taking pills containing bee pollen extract. None of these has a reputable scientific study to back up its claims. It’s hard to knock a guy for trying, though, when we women fall for breast-enhancing creams.

A less stupid way to attack the problem is to masturbate almost to orgasm the night before sex and then again a few hours before the big event. When you finally do cum, it will feel magnificent. But then, of course it would, after all that teasing. This, the stop-start method, is touted widely to increase volume but it actually is increasing intensity, not amount.

It also helps to have strong PC muscles. These muscles lie at the base of the penis and play a part in the reflex causing orgasm. While strengthening these muscles won’t increase volume, it will produce stronger, more powerful orgasms and ejaculations, giving the appearance of shooting more cum. It’s easy to exercise the PC muscles (to locate them, stop the flow of urine when you’re peeing). While you’re driving your car or standing in line at the bank, no one will notice you spending five or ten minutes contracting these muscles for ten seconds at a time and then releasing.

What actually can help is watching your frequency of sex. Men who’ve not had sex in the previous two days ejaculate a larger volume of semen. Another is to stop smoking, if you do. Non-smokers ejaculate an average of 3.2 ml of semen while smokers shoot just 1.9 ml (again, the source is Human Reproduction, 2003).

You see those guys in porn videos shooting like a fire hose? Despite their endowment, they, like you, still shoot on average one teaspoon to one tablespoon. Like the furry feet in Harry Potter movies, it’s done through special effects. Those big loads on screen are usually enhanced by synthetic semen shot from a small tube. Please don’t try this at home, darling. It’s not your wife who cares if you spurt like a geyser.

Jane Vargas holds a Ph.D. in Human Sexuality and is the owner of X-traordinary Talk! She can be found on the Internet at www.xtratalk.com. Ask for Jane“s advice on any aspect of fetish sexuality by e-mailing her at jane@xtratalk.com. ’Advice to Boys Who Need It Bad” is a registered trademark of X-traordinary Talk! Please note that Jane“s advice is from the viewpoint of a caring, softly dominant woman; it is not intended to replace professional therapy. All questions are ’real,” although may be edited for length.

Audio Fantasies | Videos | Short Video Squirts | Books | Dear Jane | About X-tratalk! | Links | Sylvia's Page | Meet Our Models | What's New? | X-tratalk Forums!
Anal Play | Bondage | Cross-dressing | Foot, Leg & Shoe | Masturbation Lessons | Getting Caught | Panties | Pantyhose | Spanking | Upskirt | Cocktease | Strict Punishment | Role Play

©2008 X-traordinary Talk!
site designed by The Carolingian Empire